Saturday, May 14, 2011

How to fix a car:

Ok everyone... or anyone who reads this thing...
I have an important news item to share:

Did you know

That people who drive cars,

Have to look both ways before crossing the street?

Otherwise- their car will end up like this:
Smooshed
Like...mine.


Ok- but in my defense, I really did look both ways..
Because I know that rule...I took driver's ed and everything, I promise!


But I guess I didn't look good enough because clearly...


There was someone else already trying to drive in the road.
Oops.

Life experience: Car Accident--CHECK

But anywho-the point is- my car just...
isn't the same.

See?
My door is about to fall off!
And also, the part that is supposed to go around my tire-
It's not doing that anymore..

So- I called my dad.
Dad's can fix anything.
Hearing my distress my dad jumped on a ferry and dashed to my rescue.
Er- well, my cars rescue anyways.
And my dad, being a dad and all- I figured he would bring all the correct tools to fix my car with.
But all he brought was...

A SLEDGEHAMMER!!!

Oh, and also- Duck tape.
And I'm thinking to myself....Duck tape?
This is a car dad!
You can't just tape it back together!
What's next, a glue stick?


So naturally...I was a little hesitant about his methods...

But he is a dad...

So--I put aside my reservations--

Slapped a piece of duck tape onto my dying door,

and took some notes.



Here are 3 simple steps to a better car:



Step one...


Find a sledgehammer.

You're Uncle probably has one.


Step two: Make an angry face

And try to lift the sledgehammer.

Then give the sledgehammer to your dad because that thing is heavy.


Step 3:


Jump on your car.


Like this.
If the car doesn't hit the tire when you jump...
YOU DID IT!

So..
I'm basically a mechanic now.


If you need any help with your car...
I will hit it with a hammer for you.


Oh and also...


As it turns out:


Duck tape--really does fix everything.


Even cars.

5 comments:

  1. Yay! The car lives! Hooray Mindy's dad! ;)

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  2. I don't have a car that you can hit with a hammer....but i have a garbage disposal that is not functioning.

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  3. Aww, such a fantastic write-up!! You should be a professional comedian. I mean, i liked the way you presented your material!! <3

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  4. That has got to hurt. That's definitely a big big dent that you have to fix. Yeah, dads can fix a lot of stuff, but you can also call the car repair peeps to do all of that jazz - from the brakes to the visible damages on your car. That sledgehammer bit's a little bit shocking, by the way. I'd be shocked if someone brought a sledgehammer to "fix" my car. Haha!

    Clovis Seeman

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  5. The thought of taking a sledgehammer and duct tape to fix your car almost made me laugh! Well, I guess, though it doesn’t sound right, still, your dad was able to do the repairs with those two. Anyway, you can always bring your car to the repair shop and have it fixed properly.

    -Darius Martinez

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